I was reading something recently when a small idea stayed with me : there may be two kinds of silence.
The first is awkward silence. The second is comfortable silence — or mindful silence, which may be the better name.
They can happen when we are alone. They can happen when we are with someone else. From outside, both look like the same thing : nobody is speaking. But they do not feel the same. One makes us run. The other lets us stay.
Awkward silence
Awkward silence feels like a gap that needs filling.
When I am alone, it can arrive as boredom. There is no phone in my hand, no music, no task, and suddenly I want to consume something. A video. A message. A feed. Anything that removes the empty space. The rush to consume is not always about the thing itself. Sometimes it is only a rush to stop feeling the void.
I noticed this in the small wall-staring practice I mentioned in my post about brain rot. A few minutes without anything to consume, and the urge to reach for something arrives. Not because anything is wrong. Just because the quiet feels difficult.
The same silence can appear with another person. A conversation pauses, and I feel pressure to say something. Ask a question. Make a joke. Prove that I am interested, or interesting. The quiet becomes a problem to solve.
Mindful silence
Mindful silence does not feel like a gap. It feels like peace.
When I am alone, it might be a moment where I do not need to turn on anything. The room is quiet, and I am quiet too. Nothing has to happen for the moment to be enough.
With another person, it can feel like shared space. Nobody needs to perform. The connection does not disappear because nobody speaks for a few seconds. The quiet does not need to be filled because it is not empty in the first place.
What the difference tells me
I do not think this distinction gives me an answer. But it gives me information.
When silence makes me want to run, fill the gap, or consume something, I can notice that. When it lets me stay, I can notice that too. The silence is not the verdict. It is data.
I think I want more peaceful, comfortable, mindful silence in my life, and less of the kind that makes me run. Maybe the wall-staring practice can help. Maybe sitting with the urge to fill the void is how I begin to tell the two apart.
I am still figuring that out. I am still learning to hear without rushing to speak.
I hope you find this article interesting. Thanks for reading. Until then, bye 👋